POwr, xxxx, Broccoli and KOPIMI

Original title:
MAckt, xxxx, Broccoli and KOPIMI

Internets, 2001


According to Kopimi all truths can be summarized in one sentence: “The Internet is right.”

Though seeded in prehistory, Kopimi is rooted in the future, and holds together a constantly vibrating avalanche of knowledge that forms the foundation for a discussion indifferent to the rippling changes of time and space. A tumult where no one has the permission to keep silent, and where we must speak to everyone and everything.

In attractive flocks, passionate swarms and boisterous schools, we sow ourselves into new contexts and eras. This book is a spontaneously organizing, clustering community project with a single purpose – Kopimi shall be deepening, propagating, and all-consuming. We want to reach further into ourselves and into Kopimi. We want to penetrate further into you, and into the future.

Our words shall, simultaneously, sound as foolishness upon deaf ears and lovely caresses to those who see and hear, but above all: They should bite firmly into you – and your mom. This is a book for those of you who find yourselves in the moment, but are looking for your way forward through the ages.

/join #kopimi

100 roads to #g-d:

001. Obtain the Internet.

002. Start using IRC.

003. Group and birth a site.

004. Experiment with research chemicals.

005. Design a three-step program.

006. Take a powerful stance for something positive and essential.

007. Regulate nothing.

008. Say that you have to move in two weeks, but stay for seven months. Come back a year later and do it all over again.

009. ROTFLOL.

010. Relax, you’re already halfway there.

011. Just kidding.

012. Don’t think outside the box. Build a box.

013. Support support.

014. Organize and go to parties and fairs.

015. Start 30–40 blogs about the same things.

016. Drain the private sector of coders, graphic artists and literati.

017. Create a prize that is awarded.

018. Express yourself often in the media, vaguely.

019. Spread all rumors.

020. Seek out and try carding, and travel by expensive trains. Don’t order sushi.

021. Start a radio station.

022. Everything you use, you can copy and give an arbitrary name, whether it’s a news portal, search engine or public service.

023. Buy a bus.

024. Install a MegaHAL.

025. Make sure that you are really good friends with people who can use Photoshop, HTML, databases, and the like.

026. Read a shitload of philosophy.

027. Give yourself cult status, and act accordingly.

028. Never aim.

029. Pick on everyone.

030. Invent or misuse Kopimi.

031. Do things together as a composition, not as a collective.

032. Make your advertising confusingly similar to that of established ventures.

033. Always act with intent.

034. Assert, in any context, that the establishment is lagging.

035. When criticized, blame others and refer to the cluster formation’s non-linear time-creating swarm hierarchy.

036. Send everything to all media, regardless of niche.

037. Start an anonymous confession venture.

038. Make babies and blog their upbringing.

039. Be sure to closely study and keep abreast with substances.

040. Participate in lively Internet discussions that don’t interest you.

041. Start at least three to four IRC channels about every project.

042. Fight and make up often.

043. Share files with anyone who wants them.

044. Deal often with humor sites.

045. Hang out with the Left, the Right, and the Libertarians.

046. See “23” in everything.

047. Flirt with money.

048. Be AFK very little.

049. Threaten large American culture corporations.

050. Broadcast radio from Skäggetorp.

051. Make a “100 list” for successful projects.

052. Be unsure what the list should be named.

053. Take upon yourself a lot of projects.

054. Make sure to be connected to technical, aesthetical, and philosophical people of world class competence.

055. Sleep over at each others houses regularly.

056. Publish a book about Kopimi.

057. At a trial, deny everything.

058. Cultivate unfounded myths and react to them.

059. Hack sites, e-mail accounts, and more.

060. Continuously mock and ridicule all aspects of copyright.

061. Create an Internet site where people can buy and sell votes in democratic elections.

062. Claim to be true, fair and satisfied.

063. Collect money for fraux’s trip to Iceland.

064. Confidently claim that all disconnected computers are broken.

065. Do NOT go to Kurdistan.

066. Make sure to thoroughly establish the claim that all hardware is overpriced.

067. Affirm all words and signs.

068. Mindfuck each other to appropriate extent.

069. Take care of small animals.

070. Create and spiritualize the concept of “Snel hest.”

071. Start and own a think-tank.

072. Deny magnetism.

073. Start a business school. Drop out.

074. Write press releases often.

075. Use IRC while in your underwear, and eat pizza.

076. Juggle with other people’s balls.

077. Ensure that there is no conclusive evidence of Ikko giving monki advertising money by means of volada’s helicopter.

078. Cause inflation and a global financial crisis.

079. Express yourself vaguely if anyone asks you, “How much is a bandwidth?”

080. Use “dynamic” to mean “completely out of control”.

081. Never mention Hotmail, MSN, or Windows.

082. Have all project meetings on IRC.

083. Claim to receive around 1256 e-mails a day.

084. Force a prosecutor to draw up several thousand pages of drivel.

085. Above all abstract everything.

086. Have a liberal vision of hell.

087. Consider yourself overly qualified for top positions in American film and music industries.

088. Create the world’s largest file-sharing service in a twinkling.

089. Attract international attention by accident.

090. Control the portal and opinion makers in all mediums.

091. Standardize and explain your way of doing things at all levels.

092. Have 3576 anonymous confessions on your hard drive. Including the authors’ IP addresses and personal information.

093. Preserve the Internet.

094. Mention the Internet as a source in serious discussions.

095. Rarely mention reasons for your IT elitism.

096. Dismiss expressions like “from farm to table” as superstition.

097. Follow the yellow fellow.

098. Skip the last points of your 100 point list.

099. Establish social services as a parody of antisocial services.

100. Start from scratch.

100. Be careful of burning kittens.

100. Write a book, but start with the back cover.

100. Use parables in abundance, preferably about “butter” and “snow”.

100. Stop using IRL. Use AFK instead.

100. Cultivate contacts within the powers of state intelligence services.

100. Always define “flat organization” arbitrarily, subjectively, and without common sense.

100. Upload.

100. Take over #g-d.

100. PROFIT.

In the shadow of the culture industry’s final crisis of the 20th-century, grows a larger portrait of the POwr, broccoli and Kopimi. The culture industry’s complete failure is followed by the uncanny success of the diffused structure of an Internet elite, spread the world over. The book you’re about to read has no author, no designer, no typesetter, no distribution channel. Nevertheless, you have it in front of you.

How did that happen?

Read the frightening instructions of a loosely coherent core of IT specialists grafted into an unsuspecting generation of youths, and how the group stole the eggs, dollars and jpegs in front of the powerless establishment and strong financial interests. Learn how servers, seeders, trackers, e-mail, company formation, foreign investors, Ikko’s weekly allowance, scandalous advertisements, links and search services, infiltrated and destroyed an entire world that had nowhere to run, no one to consult, and no one to trust…

The machine, which operates under the radar frequency is unhindered from the Cambodian jungle to the gay neighborhoods of San Francisco, via the empty beaches of Tel-Aviv, and into the Internet of plain folks in Jönköping suburbs and Gothenburg harbor. It leaves no one unmoved and mangles everything in its path. Technically superior and physically independent it’s constantly transforming, mutating and reappearing in new guises and under new codenames. With a stranglehold on its opponents it’s completely untouched and even more – incomprehensible.

It has rightly been said that this is the first time Kopimi has freed the world and we can be sure that it’s not the last.