I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
Douglas Adams
`This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low
over his beer, `I never could get the hang of Thursdays'
Douglas Adams
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams
There is an art, it says, or rather a knack to flying.
The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the
ground and miss.
Douglas Adams
The paper burns, but the words fly away.
Ben Joseph Akiba
Had I been present at the Creation, I would have given some
very useful hints for the better ordering of the universe
Alfonso the Wise, King of Castille
Hi, I'm not home right now.
But if you want to leave a message,
just start talking at the sound of the tone.
Laurie Anderson
I think we should put some mountains here.
Otherwise, what are the characters going to fall off of?
Laurie Anderson
They say that heaven is like TV.
A perfect little world
that doesn't really need you.
Laurie Anderson
Probable impossibilites are to be preferred to improbable
possibilites
Aristotle
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
Noelie Altito
Prose is when all of the lines except the last one go on to the
end of the page. Poetry is when some of them fall short of it.
Mathew Arnold
You are caught in a maze of twisty little Sendmail rules, all obscure.
Sendmail: Theory and Practice, Avolio and Vixie
It's 10PM, do you know where your spacecraft is?
We do!
Ron Baalke - baalke@mars.jpl.nasa.gov
Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major
categories those that don't work, those that break down and those
that get lost.
Russell Baker
If at first you do succeed - try to hide your astonishment.
Harry F Banks
This is ther Never-Never - ther lars' place Gord made
Barbara Baynton
Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent
with one's own opinion
Ambrose Bierce
Engage Romulan .sig cloaking device....
Julie Bixby
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Niels Bohr (1885-1962)
Metaphysician. A man who goes into a dark cellar at midnight without
a light looking for a black cat that is not there.
Bowen of Colwood
I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Please don't ask me what the score is,
I'm not even sure what the game is.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Shoot for the moon ...
cause even if you miss you'll end up in the stars.
Les Brown
Language is a virus from outer space.
William S. Burroughs
Computers are like Old Testament Gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
Joseph Campbell
Outer space is no place for a person of breeding.
Lady Violet Bonham Carter
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Tom Clancy
File names are infinite in length
where infinity is set to 255 characters.
Peter Collinson, The Unix File System
Sheriff : It bit me!!!
Wiz (examining marks) : Actually there are eight of them, so that's a byte
Rick Cook : The Wizardry Consulted
Consulting - Applied Creative Reality
Rick Cook : The Wizardry Consulted
What happened, get lost in the directory tree again?
Rick Cook : The Wizardry Consulted
Malkin : I see. So, it's demons and trolls but it's not magic.
Wiz : No, it's... Okay, have it your way. It's magic.
Rick Cook - The Wizardry consulted
Moira : That thing is not round!
Or does it approach roundness for sufficiently large values?
Rick Cook - The Wizardry Cursed
Virtual machines?' asked Moira.
That's like a computer that isn't there,' Jerry said helpfully
Rick Cook - The Wizardry Cursed
Wiz : Our explanations are real. A virtual explanation would be
something that acted like an explanation, but wasn't
Rick Cook - The Wizardry Cursed
I don't do windows,' Malkin said haughtily.
Wiz: 'I had a 386 system like that once.
Rick Cook - The Wizardry consulted
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
Robert R. Coveyou, Oak Ridge National Laboratory
Just a dream and the wind to carry me and soon I will be free
C. Cross
No, son, you lose. 'Cause this is a Smith & Wesson
I'm holdin' here, an' a Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
Canada Bill Jones
Reeling & Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle
replied, and then the different branches of Arithmetic
- Ambition, Distraction, Uglification & Derision
Lewis Carroll
You must run as fast as you can, just to stay in the same place.
If you want to get anywhere, you must run twice as fast!
Lewis Carroll 'Through the Looking Glass
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast
Lewis Carroll
If it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be.
But as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
Lewis Carroll
Arthur C. Clarke's Third Law:
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Dr. Barry Gehm's corollary to Clarke's law:
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
That willing suspension of disbelief for the moment,
which constitutes poetic faith.
Coleridge
Home is the place where your computer lives.
Chrome Cowboy, sobiloff@thor.acc.stolaf.edu
Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe,
and sometimes I think we're not.
In either case the idea is quite staggering.
Arthur C. Clarke
From ghoulies & ghosties & long leggety beasties
& things that go bump in the night
Good lord, deliver us!
Cornish proverb
Listen: there's a hell of a good universe next door; let's go.
EE Cummings
Do not condemn the judgment of another because it
differs from your own. You may both be wrong.
Dandemis
I haven't lost my mind, its backed up on tape somewhere!
Peter da Silva
Why can't life be menu driven or at least have an 'undo' feature?
David M. DeFelice - NASA Lewis Research Center
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add,
but when there is nothing left to take away.
Antoine de St. Exupery
Delroic: Dragons:1 humans:0
All ends in a crash of iconoclastic surfeit.
Disraeli, Tancred ii. xvi (1847)
Evolution is G*d's way of issuing upgrades
Jonathan Dlouhy
First things first, but not necessarily in that order
Dr. Who
Well, you know what they say about hyperspace..
They say it's a hypothetical absurdity and that's
something I've always wanted to be lost in.
Doctor Who - Stones of Blood
If you want to surf, move to Maui.
Domino ad - www.lotus.com
When you have eliminated the impossible,
whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth!
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 'Sherlock Holmes', A Study in Scarlett
Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!
Hugh Drumm & Vincent Ambrose
Sometimes I turn there's someone there, sometimes it's only me
Bob Dylan
I'm one too many mornings & a thousand miles behind.
Bob Dylan
The times they are a'changing
Bob Dylan
To live outside the law you must be honest.'
Bob Dylan
His ignorance is encyclopedic
Abba Eban (1915-)
....I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Thomas Edison
Long live the ephemeral!
David Edwards
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Albert Einstein
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Albert Einstein
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein
The answer is 'yes' or 'no', depending on the interpretation.
Albert Einstein
This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
T. S. Eliot
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)
Only those who will risk going too far
can possibly find out how far one can go.
T. S. Eliot
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness & suavity
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
At whatever time the deed took place
- MACAVITY WASN'T THERE
TS Eliot - Old possum's book of practical cats
Millions long for immortality who do not know what
to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Susan Ertz
If you lie to the computer, it will get you.
Perry Farrar
The world's Fay Wray & you're King Kong
John Forbes : Damaged Glamour
We're not lost. We're locationally challenged.
John M. Ford
There is a certain impertinance in allowing
oneself to be burned for an opinion.
Anatole France
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Sigmund Freud
Copyri.... ah hell, just take it.
Jeffrey Friedl (jfriedl@omron.co.jp) Active Perl
A fair jaw-cracker dwarf-language must be.
Samwise Gamgee
640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Bill Gates, 1981
Cyberspace: A consensual hallucination experienced daily
by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation.
William Gibson 'Neuromancer
Can't you see I'm soliloquizing, you've interrupted an apostrophe Sir!
William S. Gilbert : Mikado
... Windows NT - from the people who brought you EDLIN!
Tommy Hallgren
guaranteed - or double your money back - to be printed on
genuine paper of enough pages to hold the covers apart
Robert A Heinlein
If you pray hard enough, water will run uphill. How long?
Why long enough to make water run uphill, of course!
Robert A Heinlein [L.Long]
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of,
but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Robert Heinlein
Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife -- chopping off what's
incomplete and saying: 'Now, it's complete because it's ended here.
Frank Herbert, 'Dune
Can't you see I'm soliloquizing, you've interrupted an apostrophe Sir!
William S. Gilbert : Mikado
No man ever steps in the same river twice,
for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.
Heraclitus
Very few things happen at the right time, and the
rest do not happen at all; the conscientious
historian will correct these defects.
Herodotus
There is a coherent plan in the universe,
though I don't know what it's a plan for.
Fred Hoyle
Bill Gates says no matter how much more power we can supply,
he'll develop some really exciting software that will bring
the machine to its knees.
David House, Intel VP
Hellish Temptation To Procrastinate
http://
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
-- Ian Hughes
But what...is it good for?
Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems
Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
Andrew Jackson
Another day ends:
* All targets met
* All systems running
* All customers happy
* All staff eager and enthusiastic
* All pigs fed and ready to fly .............
Lech J. Janczewski
The superego is soluble in alcohol
Erica Jong 'Fear of Flying
When I take up the end of the web, & find it pack-thread,
I do not expect by looking further to find embroidery.
Dr Samuel Johnson
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
Franz Kafka
One if by LAN, two if by C. - Paul Revere, as told by John Karwoski
Use the defaults, Luke. Use the defaults.
Obi-Web Kenobi
If I had it all to do over again, I'd spell creat with an 'e'.
Kernighan
Kettering's Law :-
Logic is an organized way of going wrong, with confidence.
Television - a medium.
So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.
Ernie Kovacs
In a mad world only the mad are sane.
Akira Kurosawa
No, we do not die. It is a foolish alien custom which
we see no reason to imitate.
R.A. Lafferty - Nine Hundred Grandmothers
A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you
didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.
Leslie Lamport CACM, June 1992
No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats,
approximately one billion chinese could not care less.
'lazlo's axiom of chinese relativity
Exodendritic : to be out of your tree
Robert Langsford
Hey that is a good one. I find many people are out of their tree!
(Directory tree that is :-) Anthony Thyssen
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
John Lennon
Styracosaurus lived seventy-five million years
before the first Macintosh icons.
Nick Longrich http://www.stardot.com/~longrich/
To hear, one must be silent.
Ursula K. Le Guin 'A Wizard of Earthsea
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
Elbert Hubbard
...yet.
Karl Lehenbauer
There has never been an unexpectedly short debugging period in
the history of computers.
Steven Levy, 'Hackers
Isn't technology wonderful. Yes it is isn't it. It will be even
better when we get some electrictry! Yes, Yes it will, won't it?
The Looney Toon Chupmunks
Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.
Malaclypse the Younger
DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT blow the hatch!
'Roger....hatch blown!
Marooned
Oh dear, I think you'll find reality's on the blink again.
Marvin The Paranoid Android
Turn left & straight on until morning
'Crystal Line' Anne McCaffrey
Simplicity has a habit of expanding into catastrophe
The Ship who Sang -- Anne McCaffrey
Magic is Real -- unless declared an integer
John P.Melvin
So far from God, so close to the United States
Old Mexican proverb
Pixel
A mischievous, magical spirit associated with screen displays.
Jeff Meyer
The computer industry has frequently borrowed from mythology:
Witness the sprites in computer graphics, the demons in artificial
intelligence, and the trolls in the marketing department.
Jeff Meyer
I have been Foolish and Deluded,
and I am a Bear of No Brain at All.
A. A. Milne Winnie the Pooh
Of course, unless one has a theory, one cannot expect
much help from a computer (unless it has a theory)...
Marvin Minsky
I bet the human brain is a kludge. - Marvin Minsky
We have an anomaly
Mission Control : Delta rocket explosion 1997
Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
Edward R. Murrow
Anyone attempting to generate random numbers by deterministic
means is, of course, living in a state of sin.
John Von Neumann
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
Friedrich Nietzsche
East takes you out. Out takes you west. West takes you in.
In takes you east. North and south bring you back.
Litany of Orbital Mechanics --- Larry Niven -- 'Integral Trees
Everything starts as someone's daydream
Larry Niven 'N Space
Set the buffer to the max, set the buffer to the max...
Ta dum da da dum...
Peter Olausson
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
P. Picasso
C code. C code run. Run. code, run ..... PLEASE!!!!
Jennifer Pick
Atilla The Hun's Maxim:
If you're going to rape, pillage and burn,
be sure to do things in that order.
P. J. Plauger, Programming On Purpose
The gods confound the man who first found out how to distinguish hours!
Confound him, too, who in this place set up a sun-dial, to cut and hack
my days so wretchedly into small portions.
Titus Plautus
Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong.
No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness always got
there first, and it is waiting for it.
Terry Pratchet - 'Reaper
... and the smoking yet still impressive hole where
the Alchemist's Guild had been up until yesterday.
Terry Pratchet - 'Soul Music
Please leave a wish after the tone and,
very shortly it will be our command.
Smoke from a Magic Lamp -- Terry Pratchett Sorcery
5 exclamation marks, a sure sign of an unsound mind.
Terry Pratchett Reaper Man
I'm not a cartoon, I'm just dimensionally impaired
Terry Pratchett Discworld
Just erotic. Nothing kinky. Its the difference
between using a feather and using a chicken.
Terry Pratchet - 'Eric
Twoflower's Luggage was currently ambling along on its little
legs, occasionally snapping its lid at butterflies.
Terry Pratchett
Natura vacuum abhorret
Francois Rabelais
Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
M.C. Reed
Life is one big editing session
Rich Rinehart
I was born ready!
Rix Raw
We may break the rules but we don't break the law
Robbie Robertson - Hold back the dawn
Start me up, I'll never stop
You'd make a grown man cry
Rolling Stones
Ralph's Observation:
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical
object to realize that you are in a hurry.
C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success.
Dennis M. Ritchie
If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
Tom Robbins
I hexed them with my bopamagilvie
Eric Frank Russel
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are
composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Mark Russell
Help! I'm being held prisoner in a .signature factory!
Stan Ryckman sgr@alden.com
Not all bits have equal value. Carl Sagan
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch,
you must first create the universe."
Carl Sagan
All a computer does is tell a consistent story: a consistent truth
or, if the programmer's guesses are unlikely, a consistent fiction.
Paul A. Samuelson
The problem will go away if you reboot. :------)
David Sanderson
A man without an address is a vagabond
George Bernard Shaw
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable
one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore
all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
George Bernard Shaw
Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of
his tribe are the laws of nature!'
George Bernard Shaw
Ego is not a dirty word
Skyhooks
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster
at your side, kid.
Han Solo
MS-DOS is the worst text adventure game I have ever played.
Ignatios Souvatzis
Every time I inspect the mechanism closely, more pieces fall off."
Henry Spencer
Politics, n: from "poly ticks", short for "many small
bloodsucking insects".
Henry Spencer
Belief is no substitute for arithmetic.
Henry Spencer
Take nothing but notes, leave nothing but email.
Steven http://www.ozemail.com.au/~stevenz/
Logic is in the eye of the logician.
Gloria Steinem
The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get write permission
Tanuki the Raccoon-dog
The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)
on the game's opening position
Do not go gentle into that good night...
Rage, rage against the dying of the light
Dylan Thomas
The steady state of disks is full.
Ken Thompson
Stop, too many words! You're giving me a headache.
Sir Anthony Thyssen The court jester
The UNIX Project was the last best hope of defeating Microsoft. It Failed.
But in the Years of the Platform Wars, it became something greater...
Our last best hope for an open OS
The year is 1999. The place: Linux 5
Anthony Thyssen & afactor
Assassins!"
Arturo Toscanini (1867-1957) to his orchestra
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Mark Twain
The trouble with the rat-race is that
even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin
Hyperlinks are the GOTOs of the '90s.
Henri de Toulouse-LaTech
And remember, rebooting your brain can be tricky.
Eric Townsend (erict@flatline)
Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death & sweet as love.
Turkish proverb
95 is how may times it will crash an hour
Theo Van Dinter
I don't write Perl, I speak it.
Theo Van Dinter
I firmly believe that all programs can be reduced to a Perl one-liner.
Theo Van Dinter
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.
But, in practice, there is.
Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
We will encourage you to develop the three great virtues of
a programmer : laziness, impatience and hubris.
Larry Wall - 'Programming Perl
I take it that it may be a two-pass sort of solution.
In the first pass, install perl. :-)
Larry Wall
Just because you're into control doesn't mean you're in control.
Larry Wall
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
Weisert
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Jeannie West
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
Oscar Wilde
When I see a spade I call it a spade
I am glad to say I have never seen a spade
Oscar Wilde
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Oscar Wilde
It wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought.
Wilkes, 1949
A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air.
Walter Winchell
Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
Herman Wouk
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time
I think I've forgotten this before.
Stephen Wright
Door open, stay in
Door closed, go out
Zen for Cats - Alfred Birnbaum & Riku Kanmei
Find where paths cross - Sit smack center.
Zen for Cats - Alfred Birnbaum & Riku Kanmei
Send lawyers, guns and money...
Warren Zevon
I'll sleep when I'm dead.
Warren Zevon
Half this game is ninety percent mental.
Yogi Berra
Weird is relative.
The Addams Family
Circular Error Probable zero. Impact with high-order detonation.
Have a nice day.
Clear and Present Danger
This is one big web site
Hercules
The answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.
Hitchhitchers Guide to the Galaxy
Did I do something wrong this morning or
has the world always been like this
Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy
In the beginning, the universe was created. This had made a lot of
people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad Move.
The Guide, The Restaurant At The End of The Universe
I'm a fifty terabyte self-evolving neuro-network
double back flip off the high platform
Virtuosity
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
The Wizard Of Oz
Intriging! I wish I had more time to discuss this matter
Why don't you have more time?
Because I must detonate in 75 seconds!
thermostellar bomb #20 DarkStar, 1974
Patience Lewis, we're only human!
RoboCop - RoboCop 2
By the light of the night, it'll all seem all right
I'll get you a satanic mechanic
Rocky Horror Show
With a bit of a mind flip, you're into the time slip
And nothing will ever be the same.
Rocky Horror Show
He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work
Rocky Horror Picture Show
So That is what an invisible barrier looks like!
Time Bandits
I am endevoring to construct a pneumonic memory circuit using
stone knives and bear skins.
Spock, City on the Edge of Forever
Scotty: I beamed the whole kit and kaboodle over to the Klingons
engine room... where they'll be no tribble at all.
Startrek - The Trouble With Tribbles
Excuse me, there is a multi-legged creature crawling up your shoulder.
Spock, A Taste Of Armageddon
LaForge : 'The laws of physics just went right out the window.
Q : 'And why shouldn't they? They're so inconvenient!
Startrek NG - True Q
Celle Delegate: 'Sorry, wrong species.
Startrek NG - Lonely Among Us
Don't tell me, their rubber band broke, right?
LaForge Samaritan Snare
Data: `I could be chasing an untamed ornithoid without just cause!'
Startrek NG - Data's Day
Star Trek Generations: You're dead, Jim.
Things are only impossible until they're not.
Startrek NG - Jean-Luc Picard
Troi: 'You spell 'knife' with a 'k'.
Picard: 'I spell 'knife' with an 'n', but then I never could spell.
Startrek NG - The Big Goodbye
It's hard to work in a group when you're omnipotent
Startrek NG - Q
Q: 'Let us pray for understanding and for compassion.
Picard: 'Let us do no such damn thing.
Startrek NG - Hide And Q
Data: Sensors still show nothing out there.
Geordi: Sure is a damed ugly looking nothing!
Startrek NG - Where Silence has Lease
Data: 'I hope I did not do anything unbecoming a Starfleet officer.
Riker: 'Does wrestling a Klingon targ ring a bell?
Data: 'Did I win?
Startrek NG - The Schizoid Man
Riker: 'No, the name of my ship is the 'Lollipop'.
Rice: 'I have no knowledge of that ship.
Riker: 'It's just been commissioned. It's a good ship.
Startrek NG - The Arsenal Of Freedom
Dr Basher: 'Who told you that?
Miles O'Brian: 'You did!
: 'Well who am I to argue with me!!
Startrek DS9 - Visions
Miles O'Brien & Miles O'Brien 'I hate temporal mechanics !!!
Startrek DS9 - Visions
Set a new course. There's coffee in that nebula.
Startrek Voyager - Captain Janeway
Kirk: 'Take us out.
Chekov: 'Very good, sir.
Scott: 'Brought a tear to my eye.
Star Trek - Generations
This is no time to argue about time... We don't have the time
Star Trek - First Contact, Deanna Troi
You say history considers me dead.
Who am I to argue with history?
James T. Kirk
Who am I to argue with the Captain of the Enterprise?
Kirk to Picard : Star Trek : Generations
Chekov: 'Course heading, Captain?
Kirk: 'Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Star Trek - The Undiscovered Country
E-9?!? You sank my Bird of Prey! Worf
Nobody knows the Tribbles I've seen; nobody knows but Kahless...
The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote.
Babylon 5 - Vorlon Ambassador Kosh Naranek, Believers
Initiating "Getting the hell out of here" maneuver!
Babylon 5 - Lennier, Hour of the Wolf
Ok, ok! Everyone from non-aligned worlds get in line
Babylon 5 - Zac : War without end
No boom today. Boom tomorrow
There's always a boom tomorrow
Babylon 5 - Commander S. Ivanova
The universe is run by the complex interweaving of 3
elements; energy, matter & enlightened self interest.
Babylon 5 - Ambassador G'kar
Just don't give away the homeworld
Babylon 5 - Londo & G'Kar
If you see something big with eight legs coming your way
tell me, I have to kill it before it develops language skills.
Babylon 5 - Ambassador Mollari
I have already been born once & quite sufficiently I think.
Babylon 5 - Ambassador G'kar
Can not say. Saying, would know. Do not know, so can not say!
Babylon 5 - Zatheris, War Without End
Zathras have sad life; probably have sad death.
But, at least is symmetry...
Babylon 5 - Zathrus
Stephen : Where I come, one man from three leaves two
Marcus : Where I come from is a far more interesting place.
Babylon 5
You can't free a fish from water.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition 217
Never gamble with an empath.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition 216
Let's you and him fight.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition 60
Tunk - Balance of Power
Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition 284
Every once in a while declare peace.
It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition 76
Gentlemen! You Can't fight in here! This is the war room.
Dr. Stangelove
It's hard to believe that the entire fate of the
world lies in the hands of the Phone Company.
War of the Worlds
I am now telling the computer exactly what it
can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate bars.
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one.
Zen and the Art of the Internet
The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out...
Sometimes insanity is the only alternative
Button at a Science Fiction convention.
Remove items that don't exist
Mosaic Menu Option
. a point in the space time continuum
:-( :-) :-| :-? (confused)
(((((This tagline in Stereo where available)))))
1950: Signed-Sealed-Delivered
2001: Sigged-Sent-Downloaded
186,000 miles/sec: It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
2 + 2 /= 5 (not even for very large values of 2)
EARTH
smog | bricks
AIR -- mud -- FIRE
soda | tequila
WATER
A black hole is where God divided by zero.
A computer ... where do I change the channel?
Just go to IE / favorites /c
A fault-tolerant computer can recover from my opinions.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click
A Life!? Cool! Where can I download one of those from?
A program is a spell cast over a computer,
turning input into error messages.
A programmer is a bug's way of making more bugs...
A tagline is a snippet of surreality.
A warp in time saves..uuumm..years and years!
A)bort, R)etry or S)elf-destruct?
A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.
Access denied! Nah nah na nah nah!
AD&D Famous Last Words: I know that's an illusionary dragon!
Add your own tagline in the space provided: [ ]
Adhesive tagline. Lick here. XXXXXXXXXXX
Ahh! I get it !! The Universe *doesn't* make sense!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
ALPHA: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in
getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for 'doesn't work'.
BETA: Software undergoes beta testing shortly before
it's released. Beta is Latin for 'still doesn't work'.
And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...
An' then Chicken@little.com, he come scramblin
outta the terminal room screamin' The system's
crashing! The system's crashing!
Uncle RAMus, 'Tales for Cyberpsychotic Children
Any similarity is due to the overlapping quantum reality...
APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.
Art, broadly conceived, is any action the
next move of which is a free variable
As a Toon, I find your faith in Reality amusing
As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse Code.
As soon as I git some grip on reality, I'm goin' t' choke it
Avoid temporary variables and strange women.
Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though!
Bad command or filename. Hey! You're not my regular programmer. HELP!!!
Bad command or file name. You have 2 wishes left.
Bad Command: (A)bort (R)etry (T)ake RAM hostage
Bad Command! Bad, Bad Command! Sit! Staaaaay
Backup - Opposite of forward.
Backup Initiated: Insert disk 1 of 1362
Backup my hard drive -- where's the clutch?
Backup is irrelevant, your C drive will be assimilated
Baroque (adj.): When you are out of Monet
Black holes are merely where G*d divided by zero
C:\>del c:\reality.sys copy a:\pern\*.* c:
Calm down -- it's only ones and zeros.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted
-- CLOSED FOR TAGLINE DEVELOPMENT --
Compatible: Gracefully accepts erroneous data from any source.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors
Computer Human Interface
The means by which the program conditions the
user into never trying all things that don't work.
Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact or fact are transmission errors
DISCLAIMER - These opoi^H^H "damn", ^H, [esc :q :qq !q "shit!" :Q! "Whaddya
mean, Not an editor command?" :wq! ^C^C^C !STOP ^bye ^quit :quit! !halt ...
^w^q :!w :wq! ^D :qq!! ^STOP [HALT! HALT!!! "Why's it doing this?" :stopit!
:wwqq!! ^Z ^L ^ESC STOP :bye bye bye! "Hey, what's this red button d..."
DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Don't drink and derive!
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,
for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup
Does 'anal retentive' have a hyphen?
Due to rising energy costs, the light at
the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
DYNAMIC LINKING ERROR: Your mistake is now everywhere.
/Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.
Egad! Document Not Found!
http://members.tripod.com/
End of life encountered. Ooops, i mean file
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
Error 0014: Nonexistent error. This can't really be happening.
Error in REALITY.SYS Run BIGBANG.EXE (Y/n)
Error reading REALITY.SYS - Solar System halted.
Every problem can be solved by ripping a hole in the fabric of reality
Every time I close the door on Reality, it comes in through Windows.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction
Frisbyterian: When you die, your soul goes up on the roof!
From C:\*.* to shining C:\*.*
Get a grip - it's only a TAGLINE!
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach
him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks
Gotta get back to Reality... where is that stupid Blue Dragon?
Gravity doesn't exist. The earth sucks.
grep..grep..grep... (Frog with UNIX stuck in its' throat)
HAL 9000: 'Dave. Put down those Windows disks, Dave. DAVE!
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
Heisenberg might have been here
here pigs will fly, lightning will strike twice, hell will freeze over,
and eventually, things will get really interesting...
Hi, I'm a tagline. When I grow up I'm gonna be a novel!
Home is where the cat is. =(-.-)=
Home is where you hang your @
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How to hack a Computer: Step 1: Take axe and...
IBM: Invented By Murphy
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
I'm an creationist. I refuse to believe I could have evolved from humans
If at first you don't succeed, call it Version 1.0
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If it wasn't for the last moment, nothing would ever get done!
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing!
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!
I'm SAVED!!! and the backups are in a safe place...
I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
In /dev/null no one can hear you scream
It said, 'Insert disk #3,' but only two will fit!
I've heard of hunt-and-peck typing,
but his is more search-and-destroy!
Justify my text? I'm sorry but it has no excuse.
Kernal PANIC: Unable to mount /dev/coffee.machine -- Operator Halted.
The law of inanimate reproduction
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times,
you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Life is a horizontal fall.
Logic will take you only so far...
Insanity will take you all the way...
Linux: Opens Windows, shuts Gates
Linux vs. Windows is a no-Win situation
Machine-independent: Does not run on any existing machine.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
man reboot (-n option): Avoids the sync(1).
It can be used if a disk or the processor is on fire.
Masochist: Windows programmer with a smile
Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.
May the bugs of many programs nest on your hard drive.
No, don't take it personally, I didn't mean you!
Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
MSDOS is the worst text adventure game I ever played
MSDOS was created to keep idiots away from Unix.
Muttering 'Gawd darn %$@%^& Win95!!', you pick yourself up.
My cat killed my mouse :-(
My Karma ran over my Dogma.
Never trust anything you can eat. - Dragon Proverb
Nice computers don't go down.
Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
On-line
The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.
Once you have pulled the pin out of Mr. Grenade,
he is no longer your friend.
One Disk to rule them all,
One Disk to Find them.
One Disk to hold the Files
and in the Darkness grind them.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
OS/2 ? What's that? Half of an Operating System? ...
Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1,
over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall
...nothing but Net.
Push to test.' 'Release to detonate.
RAM : Rarely Adequate Memory
REALITY.DAT not found. Atempting to restore Universe......
REALITY.SYS corrupted- reboot Universe (Y/N)
Religious backup -- pray nothing goes wrong
The Roman Rule:
The one who says it cannot be done should
never interrupt the one who is doing it.
Real Time, adj.:
Here and now, as opposed to fake time, which only occurs there and then.
Scott: Damage control is easy. Reading Klingon, that's hard.
Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
Shh! Be vewy vewy qwiwet. I'm hunting dose peskwey wuntime ewwors.
Scratch here to reveal your prize ------> ##############
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
Speed Kills - Use Windows!
Stack Error: Lost on a cluttered desk...
T.A.G. you're it!
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand...
Terrifying sysadmin comment: 'You _do_ have a backup tape?
<-------- The data went data way -------->
The best book on programming for the layman is 'Alice in Wonderland';
but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.
The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer
The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail
The Net interprets censorship as damage, and routes around it.
The number of the beast - vi vi vi
The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected.
The Road to Enlightenment is Long and Difficult.
Bring Snacks and a Book to read.
The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a
soldering iron, a hardware type with a program patch and a user with
an idea.
ancient computer saying
There are lies, damned lies, and benchmarks
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
This system practises safe hex.
Thou shalt not teleport within sight of technologically-inferior species.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Timesharing : The use of several people by the computer.
To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.
To err is human...to really foul up requires the root password.
To think is human, to compute, divine.
To seek out strange, new Taglines to BOLDLY quote ...
Today's subliminal thought is: '
Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore...
True Multitasking
Three computers and a chair with wheels!
Trust your computer, but not its programmer.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes
We are designated, Pentium 90 of the Borg....
Division is futile! You will be approximated!
What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.
When in danger or in doubt...
run in circles, scream, and shout !!!!!
When you type to Unix, a gnome deep in the system is
gathering your characters and saving them in a secret place.
Unix 6th edition manual
When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum.
Watson, the game's afoot!
When all else fails manipulate the data.
WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
You are here: X
You *can* go home again. Just type "cd \".
You must realize that the computer has it in for you. The
irrefutable proof is that it always does what you tell it to do.
X-Rated Tagline...Press Ctrl-Alt-Del to see!
Zen Math - 2+2 just is
A host is a host from coast to coast
& no one will talk to a host that's close
Unless the host (that isn't close)
is busy, hung or dead
wb8foz@mthvax.cs.miami.edu
Laws of Computer Programming
(8) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in
English, and you will find that programmers cannot write
in English.
SIGPLAN Notices, Vol. 2 No 2
faq of the week
Q: Are you guys in league with the devil?
http://www.mindworkshop.com/alchemy/
ps They said no
WARNING: Keyboard device not present. Press <F1> to continue...
"American Megatrends" PC Bios
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